What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize