Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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