As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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