I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize