I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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