Redeem this text for a blowjob
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
being pregnant is like rehab
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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