A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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