Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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