dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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