I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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