She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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