She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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