If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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