Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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