I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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