And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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