evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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