I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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