i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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