just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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