i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize