C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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