My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize