Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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