we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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