So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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