Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize