im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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