apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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