I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize