But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You can't special order awesome
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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