I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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