Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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