That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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