Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize