If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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