@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize