i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize