Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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