An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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