I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize