His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i believe in u and ur pee
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize