I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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