I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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