love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize