Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize