I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize