So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
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Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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