4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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