he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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